01 April 2014

Death Star Expansion! Revealed!

I swear, it must be some kind of yearly thing, y'know? Last year I got an email from a Mr. X revealing the Wave 3 ships, now tonight I get another mysterious email.

Clint/ Cid

Just another quick email to touch base. After you ran your article last April, Lucas and Disney set the Emperor's Hand(s) after me. I managed to escape, but had to fake my own death and undergo extensive plastic surgery in order to survive. I've just recently completed rehab enough to pass for human again, so I've bounced up outta that hospital and have laptopjacked some hipster's Chromebook to send you the following message- 

FFG is planning a Death Star Expansion! 

Don't ask how I know- I don't have time to go into it, but here are some pics if you don't believe me.  

Here's some weird guy from like the '70s standing next to the finished product.

Yeah genius. That's where the midichlorians pop out. 

There was talk about shipping an actual person along with the Death Star Expansion! because it'd be cheaper to buy and include people than all of the acrylic necessary to make the stand. 

I like this guy's sense of style. Nothing brings out an equatorial trench like jeans and super dirty Keds.

A solution to the scale problem was introduced in the form of a cheese ball; the thought being that people could eat away pieces of it until they felt it was the correct scale for their particular X-Wing Miniatures games. An added bonus would be the option if one was really hungry to turn it into the Death Star II from Jedi. 

Ultimately the idea was scrapped as the release date was pushed back behind the "best before" date. 

In keeping with the time-honored FFG tradition of giving away alternate art cards and awesome swag at tournaments and special events, the dev team decided to release this as the Death Star Expansion! available only via the forthcoming Battle for Yavin Special Event!

No caption necessary. Exhaust port below the main port, et. al

As well as this alternate, alternate version. 

Ditto

Not to be outdone, Wiz Kidz is releasing this for Star Trek: Attack Wing

The U.S.S. Enterrrrrrrrrrprise

Cheers, man
X

Holy. Mackerel. I thought this day would never come- I mean, the idea of making a Star Destroyer was goofy enough, but a friggin' DEATH STAR?!!?!! Seems foolish, don't it?