06 May 2013

Hello and Welcome to the Bar!

Judging by the ludicrous increase in site traffic over the weekend, it seems reasonable to assume we've got a lot of new faces here in the hippest pilot bar in the galaxy these days. 

First, welcome to the bar! We're happy to serve you! Pull up a stool and let me rap at ya for a sec. 

Have a look around, yo- I think you'll find we have a lot more to offer than just the Wave 3 announcement coverage. Over there, that's where the new pilots hang out. I know, you can smell the desperation and Axe body spray from here, right? It's all good though, we all gotta start somewhere, y'know? There's no stupid questions, just stupid answers from know-it-all's who think everyone should know everything first time through. That ain't me though, pal. No way. I was a college instructor a few jobs back so I'm used to helping folks understand technical concepts. Want to get the lowdown on some of the more complicated aspects of the game for greenie pilots fresh outta the academy? Check out the Bikini Battle Basics series of articles covering everything from Ion Weapons to Obstacles and Asteroids to The Three Main Actions, and lots of other stuff in-between

Course, if you're more of a hard drinker who already knows his way around a starfield, I've got you covered too- there's the differences between "friendly" and tournament rules, the ever popular Maneuvering as a Formation parts 1-3, the controversial tournament etiquette articles, and my own take on a 4-ship split deployment.

There's all kinds of other fun stuff to be found too- Community Service articles featuring cool stuff other folks have made, Arts and (Space)Crafts is pretty much what it sounds like, and of course, the signature TheMetalBikini.com listbuilding articles- my personal take and breakdown on every single pilot, upgrade, droid, and assorted whatnot for X-Wing Miniatures. Just dig around in those section links up at the top, click on a keyword after an article to bring up similar topics, or use our new-fangled search bar. Whatever floats your boat. 

All that comes with varying levels of my own particular brand of random-ass humor, slang, and seemingly obtuse analogies. That stuff's on the house, of course. We got jokes for days around here, brocephus. I try not to let it get in the way of the point I'm makin', but well, sometimes you gotta break a few eggs, y'know? 

We're open every weekday around 4:00am Central U.S. time and sometimes you can catch me here on the weekend as well if my kids actually go to bed on time, I have something worth talking about, and I'm not watching a kick match between a couple of solid sides like Spacechester United and Spacechester CIty. Not that I prefer either of them, mind you- I favor whites more than reds or sky blues in that league. But I digress, as I often do. 

If you dig what you see, throw me a comment, an email, a G+ plus-1, or maybe even pick up something swanky and swaggy from TheMetalBikini.com's new addition, The Olde Gift Shoppe featuring some sweet clothes and accessories featuring the world famous TheMetalBikini.com coaster logo. 

Most of all, have fun and keep on playin'. 

Now, what'll it be pal?